First Entry

I've never been one to keep a diary. Not because I thought my family would bother to snoop through it. I just never saw a need to chronicle such a dull day-to-day life that Inaba provided. However, I figured that being dropped into the middle of a war qualifies as enough excitement to write about.

Also, kind of going a bit stir-crazy here. I don't have a job or any kind of schedule to keep, save for 'wake up in time to clean the palace'. After that though, my day is empty.

I don't want to track down Yosuke or Kanji either. They...are so different from the people I remember leaving behind. And, while I was happy to hear about Naoki going on to find another career and enjoy himself; it hurts thinking about it too. I can't let myself get attached to a version of my younger brother, of my family; that I'm never going to meet. And I can't be nostalgic over who people used to be.

I could and should get to know the other residents. We don't know what's in store for us next, so it might be helpful to know more than people's names and a vague sense of where they are from.

I've already made contact with at least two other people. I don't know what to think of 'Ziggy' by the way, what kind of parents names their kids that??? My guess is his world's version of hipsters, but that's just my opinion . The other guy, Eren; I think I might have pissed him off. If so, he kind of deserved it. You just don't point out that someone can't fight. That's just rude.

I'm not a coward. I just know my limitations. I hit a guy once and got my ass handed to me, first by him and then by myself. ...it's a long story, diary. One I don't think you're ready for. Or rather I don't feel like hashing it out either verbally or writing it down. To sum up: I acted impulsively and Karma decided to pay me back for it right away.

...I don't need to go on about that here though. This is about what's going on at Asgard. I apologize for getting off track then.

It's so strange. I hated school, but it was something to do. I didn't like working for Junes either, but it was better than having my parents and their customers talk about me while I was standing right there, having to smile and take it.

Here, I don't know what to do with myself.

I need to learn how to defend myself. Yet, I'm seeing martial artists, people with very niche skills done with machines or magic; or out right demonic possession. And this is just from people on Asgard's side.

There isn't time to learn a discipline like sword-fighting or some kind of martial arts. Everyone else has had years to prefect these skills or were blessed, cursed in some cases; so I can't ask them to teach me.

Yet, I can't stand around and do nothing either.

I just know that something has to give. We don't know when the next trial is going to be or what it's going to involve. I can't let Yosuke, Eren or someone else take it upon themselves to defend me.

They need to look after themselves, need to be able to trust me and other people. Being distracted by holding someone's hand or being their living shield is going to get us all killed.

Something has to change, otherwise I'll be coasting on everyone's coattails.

A leech.

Ugh, now I'm thinking of that disgusting guy who called me a slug again. He doesn't deserve being thought about at all.

Might as well close it here, diary. I'll let you know when I decide what to do next.